


Solstice

by SireDisco



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Autistic Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Headcanon, M/M, ishimondo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26723860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SireDisco/pseuds/SireDisco
Summary: Kiyotaka lives with Mondo in a small town. Their feelings slowly start form mutaully. With the help of their neighbor, they start to become much closer.
Relationships: Fujisaki Chihiro & Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Owada Mondo, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	1. One: Morning

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fic in years and this is a head cannon of mine! It's not the best, but I hope you enjoy!

/There are some days where I wish I could just live my life. Live without the hindrance of people staring at me. Live like me. I wish. . ./

***

There was the faint sound of the garbage truck rumbling down a distant road. It would only be a few minutes until the sun would start to creep over the distant horizon. Igniting the trees and buildings with glowing fire. I started to slow down from a jog to a walk as I passed the alleyways and houses. The windows of houses started to turn on in bedrooms and kitchens. The engines of cars started to rev and rumble as their owners left for work. I looked around my surroundings, seeing the soft light starting to glance off the leaves. I looked at the time, the numbers drawing closer to 5:30 AM. I sighed, the chilled air leaving a faint cloud of my breath. I turned the corner to enter my apartment building that sat by the small corner store. As I opened the door, the elevator door opened and my neighbor stepped out.  
“Ah, Taka! There you are! Mondo was looking for you, he called me and asked if I knew where you were!” Chihiro ran over to me and pulled out their phone.  
“I see, how come he didn’t call me? He knows I go on a run every morning,” I started walking towards the stairwell as Chihiro followed close behind.  
“He said he didn’t want to bother you, but he was worried. I don’t know, I guess he forgot!”  
“Hm. . .” I started up the stairs, thinking over what they’d just told me. /I’ve said that I go out every morning multiple times. Why didn’t he remember? Does he not care? I don’t understand./

***

Chihiro walked back towards their apartment and left me alone in the hallway. I unlocked Mondo’s and my apartment and opened the heavy door.  
“Mondo, why did you call Chihiro instead of me? You knew I was on my outing, yes?” I set my water bottle on the countertop by the door and slipped my shoes off.  
Mondo walked out from our bedroom and scratched the back of his head, “Yeah, yeah, I know, I just got worried, ya’ know? You were gone longer than you usually are and I started to worry about ya’, bro,” He glanced down, his face turning slightly red.  
“Hm, I see. That is okay, I stopped for a few minutes at the corner to sit by the tree. I am fine, no need to worry,” I continued my journey over to the cramped bathroom to take a shower. Mondo reached his hand out.  
“Wait, I need to ask you something,” He stared at me. I started to turn around to face him.  
“I need to shower first, you can ask me after,” I closed the door before he could protest.

***

I turned the shower on and stepped in, the warming water falling against my skin.  
/I should have let him talk. I was rude. I should have let him ask me a question. But if I did the time for my shower would be wrong and then breakfast would be wrong. I would then get to work late./  
I kept thinking about what Mondo could ask me.  
/What if it was something important? What if he needed something? I should have let him talk. I was rude./

Those phrases kept running through my mind, over and over, repeating. As I rinsed the soap out of my hair, a wave of realization hit me. 

I had forgotten my meds. 

I started to panic. I will die. I forgot to take my meds. I messed up my schedule. I ruined my day. How could I forget something? How could I forgot something? I forgot to take my meds. I forgot  
i forgot  
i forgotiforgotiforgotiforgot. 

My breathing sped up, I felt tears swell in my eyes, the panic rising in my chest. Nausea overtook my body and vision swam and spun. My world started to collapse, a simple twist in my fragile and precise schedule had fallen out. Bad things would happen. Bad things were happening. I had ruined it all. I ruined it.  
I hurriedly shut the water off and grasped for my towel. I ran the towel over and over my body, praying that I’d dry off faster. I needed to finish this as quickly as possible. If I hurried, I could recover lost time. I tied it around my waist and charged out of the bathroom, making a beeline for the closet with my clothes. 

I grabbed my work uniform and slid it on, rushing back out to the main living area while buttoning up my shirt. I charred to the tiled kitchen where I stored my meds and drawer after drawer flew open. I opened the drawers in a panic, searching for my pill case. The panic built up as I realized it wasn’t there. Tears welled up again, my worst fears coming true all at once.  
“Hey, bro, what happened?” Mondo came up behind me, trying to help.  
I couldn’t speak, the words were balled up in my throat, catching on the thorns. My brain was failing as my body shook. I tried to speak again yet only a cry came out. My vision was blurred by hot tears that streamed down my cheeks.  
“Hey, what's wrong? Do you need water or something? I can grab your coat from our room?” He asked, growing worried.  
I shook my head and tried to talk again, yet a steam came out. I sank to the floor as my legs started to shake uncontrollably. I rocked myself in my arms and slammed the ground repeatedly, throwing my head back.  
Mondo looked around and saw the drawer with it’s contents lying about. He realized what I was looking for. “Your meds? Right?”  
I needed ferociously, still panicking.  
“Kiyo, that’s what I wanted to ask you, if you had taken your meds. Here,” Mondo slipped the pale blue case and handed me the morning’s handful of pills.  
I started at the pile, each one being categorized and checked off. I took them from him and popped them in and swallowed. Slowly, my panic came down, “Thank you,” I managed to choke out, closing my eyes to blink away left over tears.


	2. Work Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mondo and Taka discuss Taka's work, and instead of listening, he decides to ignore him and leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little less exciting goes into the thought process more. I wanted to go into depth about character set up. (if there are any formatting notes, please tell me! I want to work those all out early on!)

It felt like hours had passed. Yet the hands of the clock had only inched past 6:03 AM. It had been 11 minutes, maybe more, maybe less. The numbers were melting in my mind as I tried to refocus myself to the present. I was still on the floor in front of the drawers. I hadn’t noticed it earlier, but the pain in my head was pounding against my skull. 

Mondo was leaning against the counter, waiting for the microwave to finish warming up a bowl of oatmeal. He glanced down at me, pity in his eyes.

/Don’t look at me like that. Don’t look at me. Why is he staring at me? There’s nothing for him to see. Stop looking at me./

The microwave beeped.

He took a step forward and opened the door and lifted the stemming bowl off the microwave plate and set it on the counter.

“What do you want in your oatmeal, Taka?”

I lifted my head, slightly shaking it to wave off the cloud of distraction. “I don’t want anything. You eat first.”

Modo shot me a quizzical look, and ignored my response and set the bowl next to me. I wanted to protest his advancement, but I didn't have the energy. He lowered himself a couple feet next to me and looked over to me. Pity had morphed into a sadness, almost longing. I recognized the expression from my father’s looks. It was the same one he had given me when I got my diagnoses back. I shifted my seat to let my legs fall flush with the floor. I turned and picked up the slowly cooling oatmeal and stirred it with the spoon that had been placed next to it. Slowly, I put the first spoonful in my mouth and ate. There was a little brown sugar and some added salt, but it wasn’t overpowering. The taste was balanced and not overwhelming. 

“Is it ok?” I was caught off guard by the sudden question. 

“The oatmeal? It’s fine,” I left it there and continued my meal. There was an uncomfortable silence that followed thereafter, weighing down the air around me. I finished the bowl and started to get up.

“Hey where are you goin’, I just sat down?” He reached his hand out for my sleeve and ended up grabbing air. I swiveled my head around.

“Yes, I have to get ready for work. I must leave in an hour or I’ll be late.” I continued towards the sink where I placed my bowl and filled it with hot water and some soap. 

“You do know it’s Sunday, right? I thought you had Sundays off now?” Mondo grunted as he lifted himself up off the floor, using the counter as support. 

I turned to face him from the sink’s edge, “Yes, I took an extra shift to make up for the one I missed last week while I was in the hospital,” I started over to the bathroom to brush my teeth and do my hair.

“Wait, you did what? Didn’t yer boss say that you were supposed to take this Sunday off for an appointment?” Mondo started after me, standing in the door frame instead of letting me close it. 

I picked up my toothbrush and squeezed some toothpaste on it, making sure the ratio was correct. I turned the faucet on and let water blast onto the toothbrush and then immediately shut it off. Before I started to actually brush my teeth, I looked at Mondo, “He did, yes, but I’m going to my appointment after work. I’m also taking the shift since the girl who works it is sick.” I continued on and brushed my teeth. Each section getting an equal amount of time to be cleaned. I spit out the foaming toothpaste-water and rinsed. 

I lightly pushed Mondo out of the doorway so I could get to the bedroom, “Hey! You could’ve asked me to move,” he huffed as he followed me to the bedroom. I sat on my bed and looked for my watch and shoes. I found my watch in the usual place and then remembered that my work boots were by the front door, probably still stained from last week. Mondo caught my shoulder before I could leave the room.

“Taka, you have to take a break. You were sent to the hospital last because you collapsed from overworking yourself. You just had a complete breakdown not even an hour ago!” he started to raise his voice, not from anger, I had figured out based on his eyes, but from worry and stress.

“If I don’t make the shift up, I’ll get a strike. That's not something I can afford, I’d only have two strikes after that one. That’s for three months,” I tore away from the taller man’s hand and walked towards the entrance of the apartment and grabbed the tall, black boots from their place by the doorway and entrance mat. I unlaced them to the point where they would slide onto my food easily. Once the shoe fit over my heel, I began the tedious process of retying them.

Mondo said nothing after that.

***

The store was very empty, the opening shift was usually quiet and easy at the small bookstore cafe. My main tasks were to take inventory, restock shelves, and check the donations and fundraiser bulletin board. Based on last night;s closing shift, inventory had already been completed so restocking was only half done. So, I started to head to the back storage room. 

I opened the heavy metal door and stepped inside the chilled storage room. The shelves were lined with extra books, stationery supplies, notebooks, clothing, and acceseriories. The list the previous shift had posted was stuck to the shelf, just at eye level. Only the pin bin, science fiction shelf, and hoodie hangers had to be restocked. So, I lifted the needed merchandise in the variety of sizes and types onto the rolling cart and began to head out of the room. 

***

My shift was coming to a close, and only three customers had come in. A young, business man looking for a good train book, a lady asking if we had the newest installment of an obscure series, and Chihiro coming to buy a bag full of pins and to remind me about getting lunch before my doctor’s appointment. I told them I would, I had an hour to get lunch between now and when I needed to get to the office. I left my report in the director’s office mailbox and left the key by the register as the next shift group changed out with me.

I had no idea where to get lunch, and since it was 11 AM, the noodle shop wouldn’t be open for another thirty minus, which was far too much time to wait. Ordering a salad from the local farm stand would do well. 

Except the calling ahead part.

I couldn’t do that without ordering for another person, ordering for myself was too much. 

After mustering the courage to call the polite, young lady at the stand and ordering, I began to walk over to the small park, where the stand stations itself, leaving my car at the cafe for practicalities sake. 

After I picked up the salad, I’d walk back to my car and eat in the car and then drive to the hospital to meet with my physician and nutritionist. It’d be an incredibly long appointment, especially if I tracked the dates correctly. 

I was praying I hadn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slower chapter, I'm planning the next chapter to be more intese and longer. It'll open up more on Mondo's side and Chihiro!


	3. Chihiro and Mondo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chihiro visits Mondo after Taka leaves and they have a chat about what's going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is written in 3rd person! It is a narrator who mainly focuses on Chihiro and then switches to Mondo's world at the end!

Chihiro lifted their hand up to knock on the door. They hesitated, wondering if they should. 

/Deep breath, don’t chicken out./

They knocked. After a few seconds had passed, they raised their hand to knock again, but the door opened and Mondo appeared. He was dishevelled, his hair still down in a mess. 

“Mondo! Are you okay? I wanted to come check on you after I heard a door slam-”

He stopped me, “I’m fine, Taka left for work in a hurry. It’s nothing, don’t worry ‘bout it,” Mondo shifted his weight to his foot and glanced down at the floor. 

“Did you guys fight again? Wait, before you answer that, I thought Sunday was his day off? Isn’t he also on medical leave?” I pushed my way past his frame and into their apartment. I looked around and saw the contents of drawers strewn across the floor. The bathroom door was open and the mirror had been broken into pieces. There was water splashed on the floor that was mixed with blood. Chihiro looked down and pieced together what had happened. 

Monod followed their gaze and hid his hand behind his coat.

“It’s not what it looks like. I tripped, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” He walked towards the bathroom and shut the door, hiding the scene, “Taka was supposed to have off today but he took the opening shift to cover the one he missed last week. He’s going to see the doctor today, but I think something else is goin’ on too. He grabbed his therapy bag on his way out.”

Chihiro looked at Mondo, realizing that he had cried, “Mondo, he could’ve just grabbed the wrong bag, he only brings that one when he goes to see the psychiatrist. That can’t be today, right? It hasn’t been a year since his last appointment, right?” Chihiro took their phone out and checked the calendar. 

It had been a year since Taka had seen a psychiatrist to check dosages and re-evaluate him for his diagnoses. Today was going to be an eventful day for Taka. he had work, a physical, a blood test, and his psychiatrist appointment. He was going to need a while to readjust and relax. Of course, that’ll take more than just “a while”. He’d need to be left alone for hours and wouldn’t respond to anything until he realized the passage of time. There were some days when Taka wouldn’t even acknowledge Mondo’s presence in their shared bedrooms. He’d sit on his bed and just become a drone of typing and writing. Mondo would talk to him, sit with him, and be with him for hours on end and Taka wouldn’t respond. 

Chihiro sat on the couch, which was only a few feet away from the counter, and picked at their clothes. Mondo took a seat next to them and put his hand on their shoulder. 

“Should we pick him up later? Last time he drove himself back from the hospital, he couldn’t get out of the car until the next multiple of fifteen clicked on the clock!” Chihiro started to get worried, throwing their hands in the air and grabbing the strands of hair. 

“Hey, it’ll be ok, he can make it home. I know the time thing is scary, but it’s ok. If it goes on for too long, I’ll go and get him,” Mondo flashed his dashing smile past his disheveled hair. 

Chihiro clasped their hands in their lap and laughed quietly, “Go get ready, Mondo, you look like a mess. Besides, you need to talk to him about something, right?”

“What? I-” Mondo’s face turned red and he turned away from Chihiro.

“I knew it! You are so obvious! I mean, Taka’s, well, Taka, I know it’s not just him being oblivious, but before I came out, I dropped hints I was non-binary, and he just responded with different people he knows and that he thinks it’s great that I’m accepting. Once I did come out, he said that he’d always support me and be here for me,” Chihiro laughed. They loved Taka and he’s always so sweet and kind, but there’s some days that he’d never understand what was going on. 

Mondo started at the floor, unable to form a sentence. Had they just figured out what he’d been hiding for almost two years? He took a deep breathe, trying to gather his thoughts once more, “What are you tryin’ to say, Chihiro?”

“You like him, don’t you?” Chihiro raised an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side. 

“Chihiro, I can’t tell him today. He’s going to have a lot going on and I don’t want to make his day worse. He might not even feel the same way! What if he wants to move out, I’ll lose my best friend!” Monod cried out, getting louder as his panic rose. 

“Hey, hey, it’ll be ok, man. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, which I’m sure he does, he won’t hate you. You’re still best friends, right?” Chihiro began to stand up, knowing that they should start to clean up the bathroom.

“Chihiro, I’m gonna need your help with this. I have kept this so close to me that the pressure has become too much. I’m still afraid of him rejecting me and wanting to leave,” Mondo lifted himself off the couch and started to wash dishes, “Thanks for helping me clean, Chihiro. I don’t know what I’d do without you!”

Chihiro laughed and shoved the larger glass shards of glass into a trash bag. Using a hand-held vacuum to clean up the rest. After all the tiniest bits had been thoroughly cleaned off the ground, they grabbed a rag and cleaned the bits of blood off the tile floor, making sure to remove the red stains. 

***

Mondo had finished the dishes and began to wipe the countertop to get any splashed water dried off. He yawned and checked the time, it would only be a few hours till Taka arrived back home. He had to get ready or Taka would probably start to stress clean the whole apartment. 

Chihiro left the finished bathroom and sat on the floor next to the door, “Should I wait here for Taka with you, or would you prefer me to leave?” 

“You can leave, Chihiro. I need to shower and get ready,” Mondo took a step towards the door to open it for them.

They got up off the floor and slipped the brown shows they had worn and thanked Mondo for opening the door, “Call me when he’s back, okay?” Chihiro asked and as Mondo nodded, turned down the hall to go back to their apartment. 

Mondo closed the door and collapsed on the couch, exhausted.

/It’ll be a long day. . ./

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this would be longer and more exciting, but the show I'm working on started and classes have been rough, so it took awhile to write.


	4. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taka gets in his car and drives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long wait! The show I was working on finally finished so now I have more time!

The car door opened shakily.

My feet braced on the floor and I slid myself into the driver’s seat.

I reached my arm out to close the door as my feet rested against the floor of the car.

I put the keys in the ignition, the jingle of my house key, storage unit key, store key, and Chihiro’s key went unnoticed. I turned the keys and the car grumbled to life.

Before I started on my way back home, I gripped my knuckl;es around the steering wheel and slammed my head into it, repeating the action while screaming, my whole body shook and hot tears streamed down my face. Rage and anger and fear all rose into my chest, constricting my breath, drowning me in my own brain. I made one last slam into to the wheel and stopped, exhausted from everything.

I let the tears hit my pants and seep into the grey fabric. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and held the bridge of my nose, hoping to relieve the pressure that had built up. I took a deep breath, recomposing myself for the fifteen minute drive to the apartment. 

I pulled out of the parking space and made the first turn in the direction of home.

***

/Why? Why now? Why did I dare assume that it’d be a normal physiatrist appointment? How did I forget. . ./

His words kept rolling through my head, only bits and pieces, certain phrases, a word, a crossing,the scratch of pen on paper, the door closing.

I tried to recall his exact wording, the tone, what it all meant.

/ “You’ll lose your support. . . not struggling. . . well-adjusted. . .”/

The way he said it, with such formality. No bias, no emotion. Just straight facts, just the comparison of my chart and the requirements. Nothing more, nothing less.

/Why did I have to be like this?/

***

The car came to stop and I turned the keys out, the car silencing.

I put my hand on the door handle and hesitated. I had arrived at the right time, I had all my things. I was fine. Nothing went wrong, I got news, but it wasn’t unexpected. The appointment about my head injury I sustained at work went well, so why was I so caught up? Why was there so much happening?

I kept trying to will myself out of the car, except every time my hands froze. My body seized up and I was trapped in the car.

I gave up.

I let my head hit the headrest with a thwump, the sound in time with my feeble heartbeat. My breathing was leveling, slowly starting to even out and my body steaded. Shakiness started to disperse and enter the empty air. 

/Just get out, Kiyotaka. It’s not that hard. Just get out of the damn car. It’s not that hard./

I repeated those words while starting at the looming car door. I don’t know why opening the door was such a horrifying feat. It was also so daunting, the action of pulling the handle out, towards me and just getting out. Leaving the safe space. The warm space. The place where he could go unbothered and unheard for blissful hours. After last time, I knew that Mondo would have to come get me and force me back upstairs.

I wanted to stay just a few minutes longer, only a few. If there was a way I could just tell him that I needed the car to be safe, I needed it so I can breathe, he’d understand, right? 

I knew that was hopeless. I would never find the words. They’d be lost on him, over-explaining my thoughts or using vernacular unused by most. I’d misspeak and the sentences would become garbled and mushed together. 

I started at the clock, watching the minutes click by. After seven, I decided to get out. No hesitation, just me, pushing the door open to go back to my apartment. 

I stepped out of the small, white car and shut the door behind me. The sound of the door closing and hitting the car’s side reminded me that I was out. I had left the one place that was safe outside.

It was horrifying.

I looked over and saw the complex’s door open and a quite concerned, yet also dressed up, Mondo enter the parking lot. He glanced around until his eyes settled on me. 

“Taka! There you are! How long have you been out here? It’s almost five!” Mondo walked briskly towards me, his panicked voice growing louder.

I looked past him and towards the building, focusing my eyes on the space next to his face, “I’ve been here since four. Why?” 

“That’s an hour! You’ve been in that car for an hour?”

“Yes, that is what it means when someone is in a place from four to five, that is an hour.”

Mondo sighed into his hand, probably fed up with my stupidity and pure obliviousness. 

I looked down at the pavement, hoping I would just fade away and he’d go back inside like nothing happened. I wanted this to be over. I wanted to just go have a tea and not have to think about this moment every minute of the day. 

I saw Mondo take a step toward me, and I instinctively flinched with my hands flashing to cover my head.

Fear bubbled in my chest, cold sweat popping up on the back of my neck. The small hairs along my arms and neck pricked up, electricity prepping my body to run.

/He’ll hit me./

The moment lasted less than a second, yet time had froze. 

Mondo stopped in his tracks, realizing what had just gone through my mind. His tone was very concerned, a tinge of apologeticness, “Shit, Taka, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you think that. I’m sorry, I’ll leave it ‘till later, ok? Let’s go inside.”

I looked up at him, just meeting his eyes for a second. There was warmth in them, a comforting, soft, expression. I felt something bloom in my chest and a calm heat spread to my fingertips. I cautiously lowered my arms, still wary. I took a deep breath and unclenched my shoulders and jaw.

I nodded, “Yes, let’s.”

Mondo raised his hand, almost to rest it on my shoulder, but put it down. He looked down swiftly and then readjusted himself.

We walked towards the apartment building together, light slowly fading behind other buildings. Mondo opened the door and I ducked my head in, not because I was tall, but because that was how I thanked him. I needed to show it in some way other than words today. 

We climbed the flights of stairs and once I had reached the apartment, I let myself collapse onto the couch. Shoes still on, bag in one hand, whole body heavy. 

I needed a few moments.

Yet Mondo wanted something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't too bad or garbled-  
> Please inform me of any mistakes or needed spacing!


	5. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are many emotions to feel. Several are felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, but here it is. Chapter 5.

I dared to raise my eyes and meet his. 

I had noticed he wanted something the moment he had come to fetch me from the car.

The moment he set foot out the complex door.

/What do you want? Why are you trying to talk to me?/

I followed Mondo’s movements, calculating where he would land and what he would do.

He sat on the chair just adjacent to the couch, just barely hesitating before lowering himself into the plush chair.

He looked me in the eye and then quickly averted his gaze to the floor.

“What do you want?” I shifted my position to sitting upright, looking at the taller man shoot up.

“I was going to ask you a question, but you clearly are not interested,” Mondo turned away, annoyance seeping in his words.

I tried to form a response, nothing I thought of sounded right. Rudeness wasn’t to goal in my original question, it was supposed to just be a question. My next words should be picked carefully, it seems. 

“What is your question, Mondo?” I tried to edge in some gentleness to my previously harsh words.

He looked at me, his eyes glossing over with a thin film of tears. Had I hurt him? I didn’t mean to.

He sniffled, blinking away the tears that I had forced, “No, I’ll give you some time. It’s not even that important,” Mondo grumbled, crossing his arms.

I sighed, peeved at his insistence on avoiding the subject that had been deemed important. I wanted to know what he wanted to ask me, it seemed to bother him greatly. 

“No, it’s ok. Please, ask me what you want to ask me. It will not bother me, your questions never do,” I gave a soft smile, these words are genuine, no added sweetness to the cream I let spill off my tongue. The tone I spoke with was new, something that had only been brought up from my deep-set concern for my dear friend.

I had surprised Mondo with this new tone, or maybe it was my words. He looked flushed, brushing his hand through his hair, “Uh, well, we’ve lived together for a while now, right? We were close in high school, and I like to think best friends. But, uhm , there’s, something, I don’t know, uh. . .”

He put his head in hands and sighed, annoyed. He leaned back in his chair and breathed in, “Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course,” I moved to the edge of the couch to be closer to Mondo and put my hand on his tensed shoulder.

He looked up at me, tears sliding down his face. He took a shaky breath, his eyes closing, preparing himself for whatever he was going to say, “Taka, I have known you for years. In those years, we grew closer and ended up moving on together, without even dating. Just two bros living in a small, one bedroom apartment. This time together has made me realize things I never noticed about you, little actions, slight movements, likes, dislikes. I care about you, Taka. I’m sorry I mess up so often, I’ve never been good with showing I care and I’m pretty bad at getting things right,” Mondo paused, “Sorry, I’m rambling.”

I shook my head, “No, don’t apologize, Mondo. I’m listening to you and I enjoy hearing you talk. I like that we’re close.”

“Really? You, you don’t think it’s weird?”

“Not at all! I think our friendship is lovely.”

He smiles, eyes reddened with tears and cheeks flushed, “Anyways, I want to say something. I know it’ll probably be unwelcome an weird and make you uncomfortable-”

“Mondo, it’s okay, please, continue,”

He nodded, “Yeah, sorry, but if you hate me after this, please tell me. If I make you feel weird, please let me know,” He took a deep breath in and sighed out, “Taka, I think, well know, I guess, yeah. I think I love you.”

My eyes widened slightly not enough to be noticed but enough to show a response. He had said those words to me. He was honest. Was he lying to me? Was he tricking me? I opened my mouth to try and tell him my response. To tell him how I felt, but only crushing silence escaped. 

“You hate me, don’t you? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I said anything. Please don’t hate me,” Mondo’s voice cracked, tears falling down his face again, running black with eyeliner. 

“No, no of course not, Mondo,” I got to the floor in front of him and rested my hand on his knee. I looked up at him, trying to hold shaky eye contact, “I could never hate you.”

“Then why didn’t you respond? You just sat there and started at me. Why?”

“Oh, Mondo, no. No. I’m not good at formulating a response, I wasn’t ready, but-” I stopped myself. I was going to say something I had never said to anyone, and when I did, I was disowned and considered a disgrace. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, “I never knew that I loved you. I thought I was confused and just had a close friend. When I told my father this, he saw something I didn’t. He saw how much I loved, love, you.”

Mondo looked taken aback, “You do?”

I smiled, “I do.”

“I thought you didn't since you never picked up on any of my hints in school or even recently.”

“You know I’m not good with those things!”

He laughed, sniffing again, his face and eyes still wet with tears. I leaned closer to him and wiped his tears away with the back of my hand. He leaned into my hand and I turned it so my palm was flush with his cheek. I brushed my thumb back and forth, letting him melt into the support my arm gave him. His shoulders shook as emotion seeped out of him, tears falling once again.

I began to feel tears prick my eyes and leaned my head on his knees, letting his hand brush through my overgrown buzz cut. He let his body slide out of the chair and sank to the floor next to me. His crumpled body fell into my arms, my smaller frame straining to support his greater weight and height. Mondo rested his head on my shoulder and cried, tears staining my shirt. His hands gripped my shirt, balling the fabric in his fists as he let the alpine sobs into the air. 

I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his back, pulling him closer to me, I let my hands run up and down his back, comforting him.

“Sh, sh, it’s ok. It’s always going to be ok,” I spoke softly, hesitating, and then kissing the top of his head lightly.

I heard him stop crying and swallow, picking his head up off my shoulder and readjusting to properly sit in front of me. He looked up at me after wiping away tears and snot, “I love you, Taka.”

Hesitation and fear crawled up my spine, faltering when trying to respond.

“You don’t need to say it back, it’s ok.”

I nodded, communication that I do love him, I have for years.

I swallowed the festering fear, “I love you too, Mondo.”

He smiled, tears falling again. He fell into me, his hands wrapping around me and almost suffocating me. 

I let it happen though, I let him hug me and hold me as I held him in my arms. I swayed back and forth slightly, rocking us to a beat that wasn’t there. 

Mondo broke the embrace and looked at me, something gripping his mind.

“What is it?”

He glanced at the floor and then settled his gaze on my face, eyes darting around to discern what I was feeling about our interaction.

He took my head in his hand, the other taking my hand, “May I?” Mondo’s eyes were filled with emotion and care.

I nodded, knowing what he wanted, “Yes.”

He leaned closer to me and his lips met mine, dry and patched. I felt a smile in the soft, tender kiss we shared. 

I felt his hands run through my hair again, taking their final resting place on the back of my neck. I let my own wander from his waist to his legs to his chest then to his shoulders.

I pulled away to breathe, letting Mondo bury his head in my chest as he smiled and held my hands. I took one of my hands from his grip and rubbed his back, kissing his hair and tasting salt.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

Love is a concept many consider a gift. Others would consider it a curse. Yet love is something that can not be explained. 

Love is living as you. 

Love is without the hindrance of people staring. I love like me. I am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the end of this fic. If there's more, it'll be a prequel or future continuation. I know it was short and very confusing. Characterization is kinda everywhere, but I really like the end. Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed at least one line in this. Thank you

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Tell me what you think so far, I'll be trying to update once a week.


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